The media can make it seem like just about everyone is one half of a couple.
However, this is hardly the case. A recent Student Health 101 survey found that about 35 percent of respondents were not in a relationship. Many students choose to prioritize school, their careers, or other responsibilities before making a commitment to another person. Elisa T.*, a graduate student at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles, shares, “You can focus on non-romantic relationships, time for personal improvement, and the freedom to pursue career aspirations.” Like Elisa, many students recognize that there are quite a few upsides to being single, especially as a student.
In the recent Student Health 101 survey, a majority of students listed freedom as a benefit of being single. Jen L., a student at Wake Technical Community College in Raleigh, North Carolina, was unhappy in her relationship and in her work life. She’s now single and pursuing a new career path.
“I’d rather spend my free time pursuing my own interests. I’m not going to chase a relationship just because society thinks that people need them to be happy,” she says.
Being single means more time to grow as an individual, set personal goals, and enjoy free time. Unstructured hours as a student can be hard to come by. When you’re single, it may be easier to devote time and attention to studying, working, and spending time with loved ones without worry about how your schedule and priorities affect someone else.
Being single can be a cost-savings, too. Think of all the money you can save on gifts!
Independence helps you discover your interests, strengths, weaknesses, and personality traits. With self-awareness comes a self-confidence that will help you succeed in all aspects of your life, including relationships farther down the road.
Dr. Carole Lieberman, a psychiatrist on the clinical faculty of the University of California, Los Angeles Neuropsychiatric Institute, says, “It’s valuable to be single in school because you [can] experience different types of relationships.”
Jacqueline G., a student taking online courses at Ashford University, shares, “You’re able to travel and do things without having to worry about someone else.”
More than 75 percent of the Student Health 101 survey respondents indicated that they don’t feel pressure to be in a romantic relationship.
When you’re single, your choices and plans for the future may be less hindered by another person’s influence. It’s an amazing time to explore opportunities.
* Name changed for privacy.
Megan is a recent graduate of Colgate University. She works in publishing in New York City.
When you’re single, your decisions are your own to make. Take advantage of the resources at your school or in your community and get involved in things you enjoy. Here are lots of ideas from other students:
Going Out:
Staying In:
Is your Aunt Mildred bugging you about pairing up? Do your friends or colleagues act like you must be lonely? Here are some ways to tell them you’re happy on your own:
Parents or Siblings:
Explain why being single is necessary for you right now. You could say, “I’m focused on completing my degree. I’m happy being single, because I have more time to devote to my studies and prepare for my career!”
Potential date:
Dates can be an opportunity to get to know another person without pressure. But if you prefer to decline, be kind, but firm. Try, “Thank you, but I’m not interested in dating right now.”
Friends:
Explain that you’re busy spending your time in other meaningful ways. For example, “I just started a new project at work,” or, “Volunteering at the animal shelter has been really rewarding for me!”
Aunt Mildred:
Smile and let her know you appreciate the concern. You can say, “Thanks Aunt Millie, but I’m really having a great time and have a full plate. There will be plenty of time to meet someone after I graduate.”
Now’s the time to focus on your goals. What do you want to do? Here are some examples to explore:
