Surviving Changes in Your Life
How to maintain mental and emotional health
By Rachel Bozek, Graduate, James Madison University
While every level of education comes with its own challenges, being a student who is returning to school after time away often presents an extra number of hurdles and sources of stress. From working to caring for a family to adjusting to the social scene of a generally much younger group, students who are 24 and older often return to school with more than a full plate.
Managing the demands of college can be a fulfilling experience, but for some, the stress of the situation can lead to depression, anxiety, or other emotional issues. Fortunately, there are a number of ways to address these problems or, better yet, avoid them in the first place.
You’re Not Alone
One of the biggest obstacles older students face is the feeling that they’re the only ones in their situation, and that is just not the case. At Ohlone College, a community college with campuses in Fremont and Newark, California, nearly 30% of the student body is at least 30 years old.
While feelings of isolation affect many older-than-average students, other factors can contribute to their stress levels as well. Rosemary O’Neill, coordinator of personal counseling and life coaching services at Ohlone College, points to the tightened economy as another potential obstacle. Financial cutbacks have led the school to cut classes, and that has interrupted plans for some students. “Sometimes students are on a track for a transfer, and then they find out that they can’t do that,” says O’Neill. “Any interruption of a plan is a loss, and any kind of loss may cause depression.”
Many students find themselves back in the classroom after being let go from a full-time job. “In the case of people who might be laid off from work, they are coming to community colleges to brush up, learn new skills, or get some certificates,” says O’Neill. While going back to school to boost your résumé is definitely a step in the right direction, it’s also a major life change that can trigger depression for some.
Keeping It Together
Working full-time and parenting are huge factors in the lives of many older students. Diane DeBiase, a 32-year-old mother of three, is working toward a degree part-time at New Jersey City University in Jersey City while working 35 hours a week. She points to an upside of her incredibly busy schedule: “I love that my nine-year-old daughter sees her mom trying so hard to get her bachelor’s degree.”
Time management is often one of the biggest challenges for students, and maintaining a calendar can help. Jennifer McCue, a 34-year-old student at SUNY Empire State College in Saratoga Springs, New York, returned to school full-time in 2010 after sustaining an injury that left her unable to work as an EMT.
She manages her time by keeping to a thoughtfully constructed schedule. “I live in a carefully organized chaos,” she says. “My time is 100% accounted for each week, from sleep to meals. There is always somewhere I’m supposed to be or something I am supposed to be doing. As long as I don’t deviate too much from the schedule, everyone is happy.”
Although she schedules every minute of her week, McCue makes sure that she also makes time for herself. “Me-time” is often the first thing to get knocked off a to-do list; however, it’s incredibly valuable and can help you feel grounded. McCue stays as active as possible, walking her two dogs every day. She says, “That gives me fresh air and clears my head,” she says. “And a few days a week, I try to work out.”
Get Involved
Finding a way to feel a sense of community is another effective method for dealing with feelings of isolation and possible depression.
“Older students can feel somewhat intimidated by their traditional-aged classmates and may also feel out of place in a campus community centered around 18- to 22-year olds,” says Dr. Susan Cohen, director of the Davis Degree Program (for women beyond the traditional college age) at Wellesley College in Massachusetts. “A great resource for Davis Scholars is the sense of connection with others in the group. There’s an active Davis Scholar community, and these women both support each other and help each other recognize when or if they need more professional support. Being able to share experiences rather than feeling isolated can be a great help.”
Even if your school doesn’t offer a program specifically designed for older students, getting involved on campus is an effective way to connect with other students and find people who share your interests. “Getting involved in student clubs or organizations—that’s the quickest way to meet people,” says O’Neill.
Building a Support System
O’Neill, who has also spent time in the classroom, recommends letting instructors know from the get-go if you are juggling work or parenting with being a student. “I always ask students to come to my office hours, and I think most faculty members are amenable to that,” she says. “If you feel uncomfortable or a little shy, especially the first semester, definitely talk to the instructor.”
DeBiase has put that suggestion into practice, and it has really worked for her. “I usually talk with my professor on the first night and explain my situation,” she says. “If I miss a class, I’m not just playing hooky. I’m probably either with a sick child, at a school function, or something major happened. I haven’t had a professor yet who didn’t help me.”
Dancer Amy Brandt, a 34-year-old English major at Marymount Manhattan College in New York City, has been working on her undergraduate degree for more than a decade while juggling a demanding professional schedule.
“The department’s faculty has been incredibly accommodating—amazing, actually—regarding my difficult work schedule,” Brandt says. “Some semesters I have to go on tour for weeks, but they’ve allowed me to take independent studies so that I can stay on track with my education.”
Whether you’re part of an assigned study group or joining a club for bowling enthusiasts, keep in mind that the people around you can be great sources of support. Faculty and staff want to help, and chances are, they’ve been in your shoes.
RACHEL BOZEK IS A NEW JERSEY-BASED FREELANCE WRITER AND EDITOR AND A GRADUATE OF JAMES MADISON UNIVERSITY IN HARRISONBURG, VIRGINIA.